depression. facing the life. it's really stressing.

It's really make me depressing.
really make me wanna die.
but it's not the best choice if i run away from the facts of my life.
it just like i'm falling from my good life into the gate of hell.

first, my scores really bad. i don't wanna thinking bout this problem again. it's more than 4.
second, too much emotions in my house. angry, cries, depressions.
third, can i forget him just for a second? every time i went to everywhere, if i seen someone with big body, i thought it's him. :'(

I don't know what to do now.
it feel like i should face that i live in life that's not life that i want to.
but i can't just die, it's not the best choice. but who cares if i'm gone? who cares if i die? who will cries for me?
i don't think i thinking like that.
i think like the world and my life is unfair!!!!!!!
but really i don't want to thinking bout the unfairness.
because it's fair. absolutely.
it just because my depressing brain.

I want to close my eyes and move to another life. but why it can't???!! it hurt me!!!!!
i want to close my eyes and life in my own world. but it can't too......

hmm, what if i'm suddenly dying? is anybody care? is anybody cries for me?
i don't even know who will.

God, please help me. please make me strong..... to face my life.... please..

FIGHTING!!!!

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deandreart-.